There's something about after 3pm in New England after the time changes in the fall. It's late fall, early December, as I sit here writing in my New Hampshire home, by the cozy fireplace. There's some leftover snow from a light coating that came in last night, and the sun is already beginning to turn in for the day. Somehow another day is almost behind me, and lately that seems to be happening too quickly, too often. I probably should be making it more of a habit to get outside a little each day, but I have to admit that I'm guilty of allowing the homebody in myself to come out during this season. Christmas is twinkling all over the house, with little expressions of my family and me nestled in all of the nooks and crannies. It's mostly quiet, while today at home with me is only half of my brood. Warren and Wade...my Ws. They've had a few little struggles today, mostly from mister 7-year-old, but could I honestly expect less? These two have been counting down the hours and minutes till they could be done with their schoolwork and chores so they could have an hour together of playing Minecraft. This means an hour without my phone, since Wade uses that when he plays MC. He has begged me to skip over lessons, save it till later, or just do it tomorrow. Little do they know that I've been counting down the hours and minutes right alongside them! Other than some occasional screaming (in brotherly love) to one another from upstairs...I'm enjoying somewhat of a calm and serene, RARE moment!
This past weekend, Tessa and my nieces went to stay at my parents' house for their annual granddaughter village and tree decorating. The big boys (Steve included) were busy with work and/or playing video games. This left a perfect opportunity for some Wade time, also a rarity... at least one on one. Saturday, we invited his friend Matthew to go see The Polar Express in our little Town Hall Movie Theater. He met Matthew through our homeschool community and they have hit it off since day one. They're just adorable together, embracing each other with a massive hug every time we see them! This day was the very first time in Wade's seven and a half years on this earth, that he ever had plans with JUST his friend and no siblings...from either party! I'm pretty sure he thought it was a miracle in the making when the plans were being made. He told Warren that he could join us, but he'd have to sit in another row! To Wade's delight, Warren passed.
A couple days leading up to this, I realized that being the youngest of 4 kids, and being 10 years behind the oldest, is not easy. Wade at times gets lost in the shadows of our teens. Thursday prior, so much "teen drama" was happening, it took my attention away from Wade and his wiggling tooth. As I sat in our living room, talking with two emotional teens (Trevor and his girlfriend), Wade came bursting into the room with a bloody tissue in his mouth yelling, "my toof is loof!" He let us know it was about to fall out, and without a thought I brushed him off and told him to go into the bathroom with that blood and try eating an apple to get it moving along. Attention back on the bigs. A few moments later it occurred to me that had this been Trevor, or even Warren or Tessa, who were all at tooth losing phases together, I would've made a massive deal over this. A loose tooth was "kid drama"! I shifted my attention to Wade, all while trying to keep the focus of the teens. This juggling act is literally only for clowns, and I felt like a failing act! Somehow, I saved the day...or night...spending hours and hours awake with Wade, only for him to finally fall asleep by 2:30am. This was to ease his anxiety and fear of swallowing his tooth. It seems I never know what I'm getting myself into with Wade promises!
The next evening, Tessa was having a severe diabetic low. I'm sitting with her on the couch while she is shaky and scared. With an emotional quiver, she asks me to pray for her, while we wait for the juice to kick in. Meanwhile, Wade comes bursting in the room (DeJa'Vu), running around with a bloody paper towel, "my toof feww ouw!" Once again, caught between tides of two kids, at the same time! Wade eventually got my attention, and fairly quickly, but he did have to wait just a little bit. It feels unfair as a mom to not be able to give each child equally exciting experiences and reactions, but at the same time, this is how they learn about real life, patience, sacrifice, and love.
Needless to say, Saturday was special. Not just for Wade, but for me too. At the stage where he wants some time with his buddy but still wants mommy to sit with him at the movies too. He whispered and giggled throughout the movie to his friend, all while holding my hand, and exchanging glances with me during the parts we knew were our favorites. I don't know when the last time was that either of my teen boys held my hand or sat on my lap. Funny how we remember the firsts for so many things, but those last times...we just never know. I'm holding onto potential lasts for a little longer with Wade!
During the movie, I was an emotional wreck. The movie makes me cry just with the musical score alone! Tie into it all the reflections and flashbacks of the memories with my big kids, along with being intensely aware that Wade is the last kid I get to do this with, just forget about it. My joy for him getting this time with his friend, and then with me, heightened all of my emotions to a level I feared wouldn't be hidden once the lights came back on! I pulled myself together and ended the afternoon with some cute pictures of our two pals, and a trip to the old-fashioned candy store across the street. This outing couldn't have come at any better timing. I'm especially thankful for that wiggly tooth, which brought some light to the shadow that Wade so often gets lost in!
