Light to the Shadow 12-09-24

 There's something about after 3pm in New England after the time changes in the fall. It's late fall, early December, as I sit here writing in my New Hampshire home, by the cozy fireplace. There's some leftover snow from a light coating that came in last night, and the sun is already beginning to turn in for the day. Somehow another day is almost behind me, and lately that seems to be happening too quickly, too often. I probably should be making it more of a habit to get outside a little each day, but I have to admit that I'm guilty of allowing the homebody in myself to come out during this season.  Christmas is twinkling all over the house, with little expressions of my family and me nestled in all of the nooks and crannies. It's mostly quiet, while today at home with me is only half of my brood. Warren and Wade...my Ws. They've had a few little struggles today, mostly from mister 7-year-old, but could I honestly expect less? These two have been counting down the hours and minutes till they could be done with their schoolwork and chores so they could have an hour together of playing Minecraft. This means an hour without my phone, since Wade uses that when he plays MC. He has begged me to skip over lessons, save it till later, or just do it tomorrow. Little do they know that I've been counting down the hours and minutes right alongside them! Other than some occasional screaming (in brotherly love) to one another from upstairs...I'm enjoying somewhat of a calm and serene, RARE moment! 

This past weekend, Tessa and my nieces went to stay at my parents' house for their annual granddaughter village and tree decorating.  The big boys (Steve included) were busy with work and/or playing video games. This left a perfect opportunity for some Wade time, also a rarity... at least one on one. Saturday, we invited his friend Matthew to go see The Polar Express in our little Town Hall Movie Theater. He met Matthew through our homeschool community and they have hit it off since day one. They're just adorable together, embracing each other with a massive hug every time we see them! This day was the very first time in Wade's seven and a half years on this earth, that he ever had plans with JUST his friend and no siblings...from either party! I'm pretty sure he thought it was a miracle in the making when the plans were being made. He told Warren that he could join us, but he'd have to sit in another row! To Wade's delight, Warren passed.

A couple days leading up to this, I realized that being the youngest of 4 kids, and being 10 years behind the oldest, is not easy. Wade at times gets lost in the shadows of our teens. Thursday prior, so much "teen drama" was happening, it took my attention away from Wade and his wiggling tooth. As I sat in our living room, talking with two emotional teens (Trevor and his girlfriend), Wade came bursting into the room with a bloody tissue in his mouth yelling, "my toof is loof!" He let us know it was about to fall out, and without a thought I brushed him off and told him to go into the bathroom with that blood and try eating an apple to get it moving along. Attention back on the bigs. A few moments later it occurred to me that had this been Trevor, or even Warren or Tessa, who were all at tooth losing phases together, I would've made a massive deal over this. A loose tooth was "kid drama"! I shifted my attention to Wade, all while trying to keep the focus of the teens. This juggling act is literally only for clowns, and I felt like a failing act! Somehow, I saved the day...or night...spending hours and hours awake with Wade, only for him to finally fall asleep by 2:30am. This was to ease his anxiety and fear of swallowing his tooth. It seems I never know what I'm getting myself into with Wade promises! 

The next evening, Tessa was having a severe diabetic low. I'm sitting with her on the couch while she is shaky and scared. With an emotional quiver, she asks me to pray for her, while we wait for the juice to kick in. Meanwhile, Wade comes bursting in the room (DeJa'Vu), running around with a bloody paper towel, "my toof feww ouw!" Once again, caught between tides of two kids, at the same time! Wade eventually got my attention, and fairly quickly, but he did have to wait just a little bit. It feels unfair as a mom to not be able to give each child equally exciting experiences and reactions, but at the same time, this is how they learn about real life, patience, sacrifice, and love. 

Needless to say, Saturday was special. Not just for Wade, but for me too. At the stage where he wants some time with his buddy but still wants mommy to sit with him at the movies too. He whispered and giggled throughout the movie to his friend, all while holding my hand, and exchanging glances with me during the parts we knew were our favorites. I don't know when the last time was that either of my teen boys held my hand or sat on my lap. Funny how we remember the firsts for so many things, but those last times...we just never know. I'm holding onto potential lasts for a little longer with Wade!

During the movie, I was an emotional wreck. The movie makes me cry just with the musical score alone! Tie into it all the reflections and flashbacks of the memories with my big kids, along with being intensely aware that Wade is the last kid I get to do this with, just forget about it. My joy for him getting this time with his friend, and then with me, heightened all of my emotions to a level I feared wouldn't be hidden once the lights came back on! I pulled myself together and ended the afternoon with some cute pictures of our two pals, and a trip to the old-fashioned candy store across the street. This outing couldn't have come at any better timing. I'm especially thankful for that wiggly tooth, which brought some light to the shadow that Wade so often gets lost in.

A Very Long Season

 In my last post I shared about a "season". I had no idea I left an unpublished draft just sitting there from 3 years ago. At first, I didn't have a recollection of writing it, but then as I read on and noticed that I included the time I was writing, (middle of the night) it started to come back to me. Interestingly enough, this 3-year-old excerpt could've been written 5 seconds ago; it still pertains! Maybe it's a very very...very long season (check it out here  For Everything There is a Season).

It occurred to me recently how much I miss writing. Every now and then I jot something down, but it's very inconsistent. I don't really want to partake in that trendy obligation of sharing every bit of my life to the internet. This can be hard, ant tempting, once you get going with anything on the world wide web. Still, it's not my plan. I do, however, have a lot of things I'm going through, or have gone through, that I know could be helpful, supportive, encouraging, and/or just a way to make someone smile! I've got to clean this space up a bit, since I haven't updated that I now have a fourth child (who is 7!) and in a few months, I will be the mom of 3 teenagers! 

Things I hope to be sharing more on: Teen parenting, homeschooling, New England living, Jesus, caring for a child with type one diabetes, marriage, family, friendships, chronic illness, Lyme disease, ADHD, dogs, cats, gardening, poetry, and all the little miracles in between. If you're here... happy reading!

-Krista

For Everything There is a Season

For everything there is a season, Krista, and a time for every matter under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

2/16/21 

2 AM (ish)

Seasons seem to be an understatement for life in our home right now. Some days it feels like I have many people looking to me as the person who controls the weathervane... as if I have the ability to stop a storm or make it all warm and sunny. All I have to do to stop a daily storm with my kids, is to give in. And not the little things that are sometimes worth sacrificing victory, but the things that God honoring parents need to stand their ground on. It feels like a gust of wind trying to knock me down (hard!) every time I'm accused of being "so mean". It feels like hard, deafening rain when I'm unsure if I'm making the right call. I just want it to lighten up so I can hear more clearly what God wants me to do. Instead, I find myself screaming and yelling over all the elements, as if that helps! My kids may not hear me, but I know my Heavenly Father can hear my softest whispers through the most violent of storms. I know and trust that there is purpose to this season; the one which grows a teenager! It feels a lot like New England springtime... cold, raw, down pouring buckets of rain, mixed with days that tease us with glimpses of summer. Sometimes it even snows after a 75-degree day! But summer always comes!

Prevent The Stomach Bug!

TESTIMONY:
A couple of years ago, my family and I were visiting the BFF and her family in the germy, contagious month of December. We had Christmas around the corner and my sister and kids would be visiting from out of state just after that. While normally I was quite laid back about germs with my friend's family, this time I had warned each of my kids NOT TO SHARE any drinks or silverware and to be extra good when washing hands. I wanted a healthy couple of weeks! Thinking my chat was successful and that my reasoning would be motivation for them to be cautious of germs, I sat back and enjoyed my visit while the kids played. It wasn't until all of the kids came stomping down the stairs to show us what they learned on the harmonica. THE harmonica. "THE" meaning, singular... and dripping with the drool of each and every one of them. Well, that was a fail...and to top it all off, my husband decides to give it a good wipe on his sleeve and start playing himself. REALLY?! Well it was a good try and as far as we knew, all of us were healthy so I knew I shouldn't overact. We went home and an hour later I got a call from the BFF saying, "we've got a puker!" Her oldest started the dreaded stomach bug and all of us had been more than exposed! So what did I do, I went home and Googled..."how to prevent the stomach bug after being exposed?" And that's where my research began. I put it in place immediately and not one of us caught that bug!

PUT IT TO USE:
I learned a lot about our body's PH scale and how when it's balanced, it's ready to fight off the bad stuff...especially the stomach bug! Here is one Blogger's info on the stomach bug that inspired me to keep reading and put these easy health tips into our every day lives. Not only has it prevented the stomach bug, but unknowingly, we have been improving our health in so many other ways as well! SO EASY!!! Check out this quick video on Bragg's website to learn a little more!

I finally created my own little concoction that works for me so I thought I'd share and I hope you pass it along so that others can reap the benefits of this awesomeness. Here's what I do ONCE A DAY...for the bug prevention as well as daily health benefits!

1 can of seltzer water
2 tsps (usually the cap of the ACV is a tsp)
1/3 cup (about) of Welch's 100% Grape Juice NO SUGAR ADDED
Ice (optional, but tastes way better cold!
1 cute mason jar (optional!)

I drink this once a day...and it's not bad!!! I've actually grown to really look forward to it!

TIPS & INFO YOU SHOULD KNOW!
-Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar is (in my opinion) the best. I love their products! If you can't get your hands on this brand, just make sure it says on the label "contains the mother". This is pretty much the pulp at the bottom of the jar, which is what makes this whole thing work!
-Shake that mother up before pouring!
-NO SUGAR ADDED is so important. Adding sugar to this drink would basically be a wash out. Sugar will make your PH levels imbalanced and that's the whole point here.
-You don't have to use seltzer...I just like this because I like bubbles and a little added flavor. You can use plain water too!
-Don't take ACV straight unless instructed to. Mixing with another liquid helps your body to absorb it properly.
-When I know for sure I've been exposed to the stomach bug or even other sickness (like when my kids have it or they share a drooly harmonica with their sick friend) I drink this 3 times a day, lessen the water, and strengthen the grape juice. The grape juice isn't just for taste, it also aids with the PH balance and has lots of antioxidants in it!
-This whole remedy is to level your PH balance (sorry to be repetitive), so it won't work as well if you're eating or drinking super unhealthy. It's all about balance!
-I only give my little kids 1 tsp...I fill a shot glass with grape juice and add the acv to that. Same rule of thumb...1x a day for health and prevention, 3x a day when we know they've been exposed.
-And one of my favorites...LYSOL WIPES DO NOT KILL THE STOMACH BUG! Here is a great resource for what DOES work...please don't use the wipes for a stomach bug....it's a waste of time!


Lastly...I am not a doctor, I just like to learn and research things :)  I am not getting any payment or credit for this information. Just passing this along so that this world can be a little healthier without the use and cost of unnecessary medicine. I hope it helps you and your family!

"You're Doing WHAT?!" (Part 2)

I'll start off by saying, that this time, it was NOT the fact that I have ADD that I haven't posted in so long! For those of you who know me, you know that we are expecting our 4th baby. We found out about this little bundle of surprise, about a week before we began homeschooling (go ahead, laugh!). I also have a very good friend, who had a life threatening tragedy happen to her around the same time (more on this in another post). Between those two things and beginning homeschooling, finding time, energy, and concentration to blog has been challenging to say the least. I'm here now though! So here's part 2....


I left off sharing about how I discovered myself to have adult ADD, how I get help for it, how I'm still working on it, and how I'm learning about myself. During that process one of the things I realized was that I had a lot on my plate. Since it's almost Thanksgiving, I'll use this analogy: every year I look forward to this meal like no other. It's my favorite! We celebrate Thanksgiving at my parents house with lots of family and TONS of food. We set it up buffet style (it looks so pretty!) and I fill my plate, piling all the fixings on top of each other, being careful not to let anything spill over. I take an annual picture of my overflowing dish and dig in. I try with all my might to finish every bite on my plate, regardless of how much I can't breathe for hours post dinner.  My life had been relating to this scene very much. "My eyes are bigger than my stomach"...but I somehow make it fit, no matter the cost. I had a lot on my plate in life, and I put everything on the plate all on my own without anyone telling me I had to. I liked being full, but hated not being able to breathe. It would affect my family and my happiness in the end...always. I was advised to start intentionally taking things off my plate and learning to say no...even when I really wanted to say yes at times. It was all about balance. It felt so freeing! While it felt freeing, it also felt still. At one point I had gotten rid of so much that it felt like the calm before the storm (but not in a negative way!). I prayed about it and felt God was saying, "be still, keep learning, something big is headed your way." I told my counselor this and he was very intrigued and excited. At one point I visited my younger sister, who home school's her daughter. She's the same age as my oldest son, and they both have similar focus issues. I couldn't believe what she was learning and how she was soaring with her studies! Meanwhile, my very intelligent son was regressing in school. His teacher kept telling me he couldn't focus, but that he was too smart to get any academic assistance. His class was big...like 25 students big. I started to wonder if I had truly considered all my options. I began researching and researching the idea of homeschooling. I talked about it to my husband and he was interested and supported me in looking into it more. I talked to best friend and sisters. I kept getting mixed reviews.. while one would say, "go for it, best idea!" the other would say, "you just slowed your life down, don't you think you should enjoy that?!" Well I honestly had no desire to just be still and enjoy the slowness, but I also didn't have any interest in crowding my plate again. I prayed, researched and finally brought it to my counselor. This man is a 30 year retiree professor from a prestigious college...the man is very intelligent and really knows his stuff...and my stuff haha! I knew if it was a crazy idea, he would tell me (especially being a former educator). I brought the idea to him and he said, "I think it's exactly what you're supposed to be doing, I think it's going to be the best thing for your kids, and I completely support the idea." Wow! I didn't see that coming. I thought there was a good chance of him saying, "wait another year." or, "are you sure? I'm not sure you're ready for that." But he knew me inside and out and he believed in me! It was so refreshing and exciting. I felt like I graduated something. Husband and I began taking it more seriously. We met other local homeschooling families, we looked into curriculum and home school groups and organizations. We prayed a lot, we eventually talked to the kids about it and came to the decision to go for it. At that point, I had only told my counselor, sisters and best friend. We made it official and began telling family and finally at the end of the school year, we made it more public. I still was working on my insecurities and it was difficult to share this news, a little fearful of what people may think or having to hear their opinions. But honestly, I overcame this insecurity through it all. It made me more confident as time went on. I had ZERO question that this was the direction God was leading me in.

 Even after finding out I was pregnant, even after being more fatigued in the last few months than I've ever been (or so it seems), even after most of my alone time has vanished, even though I clearly don't have this down yet, and even though the transition from public school to home school has been nothing short of a never ending struggle...I still just know. Life wasn't meant to be still, or easy and it looks different for us all. God has nestled Himself in our lives and in this decision. He's here all the time and works through others to provide just what we need: support and words of encouragement, help from family, friends, neighbors, and of course, my counselor! The kids are learning a ton (and so am I!) and we are figuring this out together. I love the flexibility it's given us. I can send my kids outside when I sense they need to get their wiggles out. I can start our day, and stop our day, at any time to interrupt with prayer when we need it most. We can do school in our PJ's, or we can go outside or to the library. It's our own playing field and I make the rules that best fit for MY kids individually and not as a large classroom. Right now, this is my full time job, my full time ministry and so far, I have no regrets!

You're Doing WHAT? (Part 1)

A few months ago, we made the courageous decision to home school our 3 children. Lot's of people have been asking, "Can I ask you why? Did something happen at school?".  Truth be told, it wasn't just one thing and it wasn't just school. If you asked me a year ago if I'd ever consider home schooling my children, I would've laughed in your face! Not because I'm against it, but because my house is small, my kids are crazy, I'm crazy and home school is a whole lot of crazy to be added to a small house with crazy kids and a crazy mom! God had other plans, though, and I couldn't deny the very strong call to do this over the last several months. One thing I've learned along the way, is to never be so confident in my life plan, thinking that I know what the next moves are all the time. God can change it up at any time and ask me to do something that I didn't plan for, and His plan will always be FAR better than mine!

The journey to this point began before I even knew it was beginning. Almost 2 years ago, my twin sister, Erika, called me and said, "I just took an online test. I have moderate to severe ADD. And by the way, you have it too." I laughed, not surprised much of her result but didn't quite think she was right about me! I hadn't even taken the test yet, so how would she know (when you're an identical twin, you kind of just know stuff...the way no one else could!)? I had her send me the test and sure enough...moderate to severe ADD. I took another, and another until I finally considered that this self diagnosis could be correct. I was kind of devastated. I felt sad in the weeks to follow. I always wondered why I was the way I was and thought my "bad habits" would go away as I got older. Or maybe when my kids got older and I had less on my plate. At this point I was facing the fact that this is not going anywhere; it's a thorn in my side.

A lot of people say, "I think everyone has ADD in them, we all have it a little." It's true that we all can lose focus, and become distracted. When it interrupts your life, affects your day to day and the people in those days, then that's when something needs to be done. While I always considered myself to be someone who had it "a little" I hadn't considered that I have it, like really have it! So when this realization came about, it affected me emotionally. I was sad and felt hopeless. I've gotten really good, over the years, at hiding my ADD and I think I got good at hiding it from myself. I wanted to deny this so badly, but at the same time, I knew God wanted me to do something.
A friend of mine referred me to a psychologist/counselor, and after getting his contact info, I called him...probably 6 months later (cause that's how us ADD peeps do things)! I started going to counseling in October of 2015 and began to learn how to live with this disorder in a way that was rewarding instead of feeling like a failure all of the time. I began learning about myself and how to use my strengths and how to change my outlook on my weaknesses. I turned them into challenges, goals, and began making strides in my day to day life. I was given tools and methods and was being held accountable for them all. There were many times that I would fall down and need to pick myself back up again, but instead of feeling like I failed, I was supported. I had my counselor, my husband, my best friend and my family all on my side. I became more open and honest about having ADD, anxiety, and insecurities. Letting that all out just made me stronger. None of it came easy, and at times, I felt like the changes I was making were going at such a slow pace. When I shared this with my counselor, he encouraged me and told me that my pace was perfect. I had been dealing with ADD my whole life with no help or awareness. My changes shouldn't come overnight! I SHOULD mess up and fall down and learn from my mistakes. As long as I didn't stop and hit rewind; as long as I could keep pressing on, I was on the right track. Once, he compared it to fad diets. People who go on a "quick fix" diet lose lots of weight, feel and look great in a very short amount of time. Then, before they know it, they're back to where they began, and sometimes even worse. This was something I could personally relate to! I began to appreciate this steadier pace; the pace I'm STILL on, to this day. It's guilt free, it's forgiving, and it's paved with victory!

So what does this have to do with home schooling my kids? Well, there's more on that, but I've realized, without learning about myself more, I would've never made the decision to home school. I'll share more about what led me to consider home schooling next time!

Changes in Mother's Day

Yesterday was my 10th Mother's Day. Over this past decade of my motherhood being celebrated, so much has changed. I remember my first mothers day...the husband just didn't quite get how special it was for me. Every other day of the year, the guy is bringing me home little prizes all the time to show that he's thinking of me, but on Mother's Day, he sort of...dropped the ball! I can remember crying about it and us getting into a heated discussion. I had been getting texts and calls all day asking how my first Mother's Day was and everyone asking "what did Steve do for you?!" I felt robbed (and quite sorry for myself). We've both changed very much since then. While Steve has made a substantial improvement, I have as well. Did you hear me say that, 'this guy is bringing me home little prizes all the time to show me that he's thinking of me....'? He's not perfect, but he shows his love for me so often and openly throughout the year that I wouldn't trade that for the most perfect Mother's Day ever.  I have grown in the fact that, while I may anticipate and hope for an amazingly spoiled mother's day (don't we all, ladies?!), I don't let my world crumble to pieces over it when my Mother's Day dreams don't come true. I look more forward to the next time Steve surprises me with an unexpected date on the town (with overnight sitters!!). Or when he randomly takes a day off from work to spend some much needed time at home. And (probably my favorite) when he goes food shopping and brings me home a little sushi treat! Awareness; on the days when I don't expect it. Way better than getting it all squished into one day. 10 years later, I feel the love on Mother's Day more than ever when I think about the days in between!

Officially Seven

Seven. There's something about the age of seven that just sounds so...big kid. Warren has always been my baby. I mean, they're all my babies, but Warren, from the very beginning, has always been my dose of little kid. Leading up to the day he graced us, I feared that my longing to have a daughter so badly could possibly alter my excitement level when I gave birth. I knew that I would love any baby that I was blessed with, that wasn't the concern at all! Between saying good-bye to the days of Trevor being my one and only and wondering if I'd ever have a daughter, my anticipation was...well, off. Those last couple of weeks of pregnancy were so emotional for me. I was just shy of turning 26, I had an 18 month old baby who was huge and running all over the place, and I was about to have a scheduled c-section with 6 weeks of healing and no lifting. What was life going to be like? I knew I would miss Trevor so much being in the hospital, I could hardly deal with saying goodbye to him the night before delivery when we dropped him off with his auntie. Then it happened....the Dr held up my big ole baby and announced..."It's a boy!"

How is it possible that in that moment of his 2 second little life on earth, I could feel an outpouring amount of love for this child that nothing else in this world could measure up to? I loved him as much as my oldest child; instantly. There was an immediate burst of excitement, happy tears and smiles. My first thought was that Trevor had a brother; a future best friend and playmate. Once I got him in my arms, I knew that Trevor was just fine with his auntie, and I'd see him when I got home! I knew that having a second son was part of a perfect plan and that not having a girl (yet, wink wink) was just the way it was supposed to be and I didn't want to change that for anything. Time went on and, at the stage that Trevor was walking and running (9-10 months old!), Warren was still my snuggle bug baby that couldn't care less about all the hype of running around. His lazy bum finally started walking around 13 or 14 month old. I began falling into that trap of comparing my children and wondering why Warren wasn't following the same path as Trevor. Turns out, they're two different people! I am beyond thankful that my kids are all very different. It keeps things entertaining...day in and day out! Trevor has always been very tall for his age and he has a side to him that has been more mature, and ahead of the game, for the most part. Warren is...well, the complete opposite! So back to the seven thing...it's a bittersweet number for me. I can't believe my little guy is a big kid. Of course, age is only a number. He will forever dwell in my heart and mind as my little guy. His personality will keep him young for all of his days. I know he will forever be making people laugh, he will never stop being goofy. He'll love building Legos till the end of time, and he'll always be a huge fan of movies like Jaws, Jurassic Park, ET, Star Wars, Jumanji, Hook,...and all the adventurous classics! His imagination will take him far in life, and his love for babies, little kids and animals will certainly win the girls hearts. He will always have the gift of prayer, among other gifts that he's blessed with. He will always be protective over his brother and sister. He will always be well liked and people will always have fun with him...his smile and laugh are contagious! If anyone doesn't like him, they can try and mess with him, but he's tough as nails; the only thing you can hurt on him is his feelings. We'll always compare him to Leave It To Beaver, we'll always wonder where he thought up some of his sneaky ideas, and we'll always cave when he gives us those puppy dog eyes displaying his love for sugar. Some things, though, I hope won't last forever; I hope he will one day stop picking his nose, I hope one day he starts eating some vegetables, I hope one day he stops dripping on the toilet seat, I hope one day he washes his hands after he goes to the bathroom, I hope one day he won't think kisses from mommy and daddy won't be too germy, and I hope TO GOD he stops bringing bugs and creatures into my house (like, right on the dinner table)! Whether it's his always or his phases, they are pieces of him that make up our Warren Walter. I can't imagine him not being the way he is. My baby. My little guy. My mumma's boy. Happy seven, big kid.

Back On Track

It's so fun to get off track sometimes, isn't it? Getting back on that track is so challenging, yet OH so rewarding! In the past year or so, I've learned a lot about myself and the insecurities that have lurked in my brain for several years. That whole story is for another day, but for now the short of it is this....it's not worth it. I've learned that thinking of how I look, or what I weigh, and constantly wondering what people must think of me is completely selfish, totally self centered and not honoring to God at all. I didn't feel like I was being selfish, because I was thinking badly of myself. It doesn't matter what we're thinking though, does it? Whether I'm constantly thinking good or bad of myself, I'm still obsessed with myself! Not what I want at all. That brought me to change. God called me to be done with that, so with much hard mental work, I made some major changes. I stopped weighing myself, stopped complaining about my body and how I looked and decided to just have a season where I wasn't focused so much on my image. It's been about a year or more and I have been so much happier! My outlook on things is so different. It hasn't been a perfect journey, and it probably won't ever be. I still have the tempting moments where I want to listen to those little voices saying, "just say you look fat, you know you do!" That's where my strength from the Lord comes in and saves the day, because I certainly could not fight those demons off on my own! 

All of this brought on a sort of, a comfort for me. I was really healthy for most of this time, but over this past winter, I got extra comfy. I mean, who doesn't feel extra comfy when there's 3 feet of snow out side and you can hide under leggings and big sweaters?! Every time I could start to see that track I wanted to get back on, but it would snow again...making it really hard to see any track! Spring has come and is almost gone and now there's no excuse. I can see the track as plain as day. This past Monday, I decided to get on it and not look back. I don't usually weigh myself anymore but after joining My Fitness Pal a few days ago, I thought...ehh, what harm could it do? I had originally made some wild guess as to how much I gained. I was really hoping I had shot high with this guess, but turns out I was exactly right! Talk about knowing your body! Shockingly, I did quite well with the news. If this were the old me, I'd be dwelling in my sorrows for days on end, been a witch to my family, and probably would've Googled the latest fad diet and jumped on the wagon. 

Not going there and I'm feeling quite victorious about the whole thing. I know the victory for getting back on track typically doesn't come till somewhere down the line...like after you've lost the weight or gained some muscle or completed some cleanse; but not this time. My jeans might be a little tighter, I may have divulged in some bad eating habits and become physically weaker, but I can't even explain the mental strength it takes for me to not let a number on a scale take me down. While I'm not willing to sit around and let my jeans get tighter and be ignorant of my health, I'm also not willing to look at myself like a failure or obsess over the whole thing (while it's quite tempting!). 

I want to be healthy, I want to eat good, stay fit and not be sidetracked my by old self loathing attitude. Jeans getting tighter isn't the end of the world, it's the start of getting on track and taking the first steps with the right focus and frame of mind that God calls us to have when caring for our bodies. The best part about listening to what God wants is knowing He's right there with me the whole time. The second I feel alone is the moment I have fallen and tried to do it on my own. It will happen, probably more than once or twice. But with His grace and love, I will be picked up, once again, and move further along on that track each time!  

Our 2 Weeks of Summer

They're gone. Once again. Another visit in the books. This visit has left me feeling a little different than usual. There was a lot of "usual" that went on while the Bales' were home, but it was a little more...magnified than "usual". There was the usual tears, heightened emotions, and lack of sleep from all of the kids, but it seemed to effect them more this time. Maybe quarters were to close, maybe it was the ages and stages that some of these kids are at, maybe it was that they just didn't feel at home. There was the usual lack of communication between the adults, changing of plans at the last minute, and feeling like there wasn't enough time in the visit for everything we wanted  to do or people we wanted to be with. But this time, some things came to a head, feelings were felt, words were spoken, and exhaustion was upon us all.
I appreciate every visit we have with my sister and her family. But I'm sick of it. I'm sick of things getting harder each and every time. I'm sick of cramming months of unspent time together into several days. I'm sick of all the cousins getting so frustrated with each other by a week into a visit because they go from never seeing each other to being forced on top of each other.  I'm sick of feeling like I don't want to share my sister with anyone else while she's here, I'm sick of not knowing when the next time I'll see  them all again, I'm sick of saying goodbye, and seriously...I'm sick of gaining 10lbs by the time they leave...every time!
So many fingers seem to be pointing in the direction of, MOVE HOME! In my point of view anyway. Oh, how our lives would be changed in so many awesome ways! I hate feeling like we're missing out on a season that we can never repeat. It's going to come and go so quickly and I want us to all be together for it. And we're not. I want us to be that village that I always anticipated us being.
Is it selfish to say that these visits are not enough? They're expensive, they're squished (in so many ways!), they're emotionally draining and few and far between. The kids are SO off routine that we start making excuses for all of them and let them get away with murder. It makes me feel like we're all only seeing glimpses of what these kids are really like because they are so out of the norm. And it's not their fault. I'll shove some candy in every one of my kids faces if it means they'll be quiet so I can have 5 more minutes of chatting with my sister! Bedtime routines are shot because no one wants to spend the time away from anyone to tackle that job. The men go from having amazing times together to hardly talking till the next visit.
I sound like an unappreciative, complaining little brat. I just don't get it. 5 years ago when the Bales moved away, God was most certainly sending them in His direction. It was so clear. But is He always that clear? Sometimes I feel like we wait for God to give us some blatantly obvious sign when it's not really needed. Or is it? Sometimes it seems so clear to me that these guys are supposed to end up back here...and soon. But does anyone else see that, or is it just me? The trips back and forth from Memphis to Boston and Boston to Memphis are getting fewer and fewer but more exhausting each time. I hate not knowing what the future will bring. I live on the hope that things will change but let's be real...it just might not.
I'm going to go back to my Dr.Pepper and box of Cheez-Its now (my own little pity party) and hope for the best. Tomorrow things will go back to normal again and there will be no summer days together or fun sleepovers with the kids. No last minute ice cream runs, or backyard bbq's. No double or triple dates or BFF beach or pool days. Our summer together happened in a chaotic 2 weeks in the middle of May.

Now I Know

As Christian's, we are taught, right from Biblical scripture, to put God first. Always. He comes before any other human in our lives..so we say. I believe with all my heart that we should live our lives this way, but it's pretty hard, isn't it?! I have always said that I love God more than anyone...but I've never been quite sure how I knew this statement was true for myself. They are easy words to say, and I do love God so much, but for some time, there has been nothing really tangible to prove I could love God more than another person. I love my family so much, could I possible love God more than them?

About 3 years ago, the person in this world that has been closest to me ,since day one of my existence, moved hundreds of miles away from me. My identical twin sister went from living a mile down the road to many miles down the road! The easy explanation for this would be that a new job for my brother in law was what led them there. The real explanation was that God led them there. They both prayed and felt very strongly that God provided this job for them only because there was a divine reason for them to get up and move away. Never in a million years did my sister and I ever think that this day would come; that we would be apart for longer than a lengthy honey moon with our husbands. During the decision making time of this trip, I wanted nothing more than for the whole plan to fall apart and for them to stay. But through lots of praying, I had a gut wrenching certainty that they were right; God wanted them to go and He wanted me to support them in it. Lots of people, even family, were not at all convinced of this decision. Of all these people, I know for a fact that, I wanted them to go least of all; but I knew they had to. I've never missed people so much in my whole life. For the first year, I spent so much time crying that my kids would see me sad and their common reaction was, "mommy misses auntie again!". Now, I'm probably creating this picture, that I never see my sister. We've made quite a successful effort of seeing each other. Aside from a few times, we've found a way to see each other every few months. Nothing compares to every day, but it could have been worse! Every time I've gone to visit them, I get this overwhelming feeling that it would be great to live there. My husband had been told about job opportunities during visits and the houses were homes we could never dream of having in our current location. Plus, we'd be reunited with our (growing) families! It seemed perfect, at times. Of course, we'd be leaving other family and friends behind, and that never felt happy either. But my heartache to be back together with my twin and the desire for our children to grow up together, sometimes, took over that. My husband and I would go back and forth on this every time we'd visit.

In the meantime, at home, my relationship with God had sort of been at a standstill. I was thirsty for a church family and to really belong and have God be more present in my family's lives. I prayed it about for a while, and looking back, God was answering that prayer a long time ago. When my sister left, she also left a group Bible study that we had been part of for several years. Her and I would help to lead the study and when she left, another woman began coming and she took over. After about a year, this woman felt that God wanted me to lead the group. So for a year, I did. I wasn't really sure what God was doing to me in this time, but I could feel that it was something. Later I was asked to be a part of our church's women's ministry planning team. I had an opportunity to give a presentation on beauty (my passion) in front of a large group of women and at the same time, incorporate scripture. (I know it's hard to think you can incorporate the beauty industry with the Bible, but ya had to be there!). I had always been searching for an answer to, "Why, God, did you make me a hairdresser and love making people feel good on the outside?!" Sometimes I felt guilty about that but I began to get those answers. I began getting to know other women, other moms, families, young people, old people.....a family of people! I also began getting so much closer to the Lord. God was opening doors and giving me exactly what I had prayed for. I wasn't standing still anymore.

This summer, on my birthday, (our should I say, our birthday since I've always shared my birthday!) I was having a tough moment, wishing that, on just this one day, us twinsies could be together to celebrate. It was during the month of August that the talk of moving to where my sister lives came up between my husband and I and I was feeling so vulnerable. It was also to the point of which, I had a good feeling, that if I really wanted this, I could totally convince the hubby we needed to do it! Weirdly enough, every time the topic came up, my church's name, Grace Chapel, came to the front of my brain. It was strange because I wasn't feeling attached to our church, nothing like my attachment for my twin, that's for sure! I knew it was a God moment, and for the first time, my desire to move away and be near my other half, was dwindling. I didn't think that was possible!

About a week later, I was asked by our church to be the coordinator for the women's ministry at our church campus. I had never felt so sure about a decision to say "yes" in my life. It wasn't until a few days later that I realized I did something for the very first time. I chose God over a person. Not just any person, but MY person! I stopped considering up-routing our life to be near loved ones and I listened to Him, trusted Him, and loved Him and it felt GOOD! So wait, did God prove something to me, or did I prove something to Him?! It doesn't matter, does it?  I don't know what God has planned for me here or at our church, but I know He wants me here.  He doesn't want me many miles away. Maybe He took my sister and her family half way across the country for me to realize this, but now at least I know the truth; I really do love God and want to put Him first, and those aren't just words that I question their truth about anymore. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for the future of my family and me. Of course I still miss my sister and her family more than anything, but now I'm working on trusting in God that He will take care of that.

ONE MORE THING!!!
This verse is one I need to refer to often! I hope you will too :)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6

37 Days

Today is my 37th day of Insanity. More than half way done! I can honestly say that my life has changed in these 37 days. It may sound crazy, but it's totally nothing but the truth! I never understood the testimonies and stories told by people when it came to fitness or health changes. I believe this journey for me started before these past 37 days. I honestly think my life changed when I gave up my very lame addiction of Diet Coke. You can read about that in my blog, Talk of Resolutions. Anyway, it's amazing how giving up one thing can make you think about so many other things. This made me think about eating healthier and what all the hype was about eating clean and organic. While I'm not a crazy nut about either of those things, it's certainly sparked my interest as well as concern. Especially when I'm responsible for what goes into the mouths of the three little loves of my life and making sure they're healthy. In all my research about being healthy, there was never anyone who claimed that exercise and regular physical activity didn't play a role in being healthy and living longer.

It was a couple of months ago that I was asking God for some energy. I had this laziness that came over me and I felt so sluggish. I didn't want to clean my house, or get off of my couch to do anything! I hated waking up in the morning so early, I just wanted to sleep longer. I wasn't sad or depressed, just exhausted. But why? Could my excuse be that I'm a mom of 3 and I'm super busy? Well, I'm not alone! I thought if I prayed about this, God would hand me over some extra energy...just in some miraculous form where I'd not have to do anything to get it! I should have known then that God doesn't work like that!

A family member had put Insanity into our hands months ago. Sure, it crossed my mind, but not enough to "push play." Finally, a week or so after that prayer, something inside of me was begging for more than just eating healthier. Even though I wasn't fat, I wasn't at all content with my body. I was craving a transformation and heard that Insanity was just the type of program for that...and I had it! So why not? A couple of weeks into it I had realized that this was just the beginning of God answering my prayer that I had requested to Him. I was waking up early to work out, I was being energized, I was becoming the opposite of lazy! I still didn't really WANT to clean my house...but maybe that will come in time hahaha!

I decided right from the beginning to put myself out there to have the feeling of being held accountable. The more people I told, the more people would see me as a quitter if I didn't finish. I told family, friends and even strangers. I got on all my social media networks and went nuts haha! It was through Instagram that I met a Beachbody Coach and became a part of his and his wife's "team". I believe it was no accident, that I came across these guys who have been nothing but supportive and uplifting to me. On top of that, they too are Christian's. It's important to me to have my main supporters understand how much this change in me is very much tied in with my faith. So after joining their Shaun T (creator of Insanity) group on Facebook, I learned so much and became a part of an awesome community. I started drinking Shakeology, which I LOVE, and I just this week officially became a Beachbody Coach. I'll talk more about what that is soon, but basically it's a door that has been opened for tons of opportunity for my family and me. Being a Coach isn't being a personal trainer, but it's being a supporter and way for others to find more out about becoming apart of Team Beachbody. I can offer products, like Shakeology and programs, like Insanity and I can stand behind them because I KNOW how awesome they are!

My journey is just beginning, I'm so excited and I honestly can say, I don't plan on looking back :) I posted some pics of my progress so far. Due to my insecurities, I never thought I'd post some of these, they were just for myself. SO pardon the hair and the serious faces lol. I know that pictures can be inspirational to people, as they have been for me. So as hard as it is for me to post these, I'm doing it anyway :)

ONE MORE THING! 

After starting Insanity, my twins sister started a week later, my husband started a week after that and my brother in law started another week after him! They're loving it! Please don't hesitate to ask any questions at all if you have the desire to start something like this! I'd love to help :)

People have been asking about Shakeology...find more info here!

 www.beachbodycoach.com/chachakp

Insanity Day 9

Today I completed day 9 of INSANITY! It's really so strange to me that I'm actually waking up in the morning and looking forward to my work out! The reason it's so strange is because I literally feel like I'm going die each and every time I do the video! At first I was pretty sore, but now, I'm just feeling a slight soreness, mostly when I walk up and down my stairs. The first few days, I swear I looked like I should've been in a wheelchair! So far, the hardest things for me are the push-ups and the high-knees (high knees are kind of like running in place but every time you lift each leg, your knee should be coming up to your waist.). I HATE high knees! I like push ups, but I'm still pretty weak in that area. Instead of stopping, I usually do as many as I can and then  join in with girl push ups. Which, they really shouldn't be called girl push ups, I hate that! They should be called "half way push ups"! I'm excited for the day when I can do more in a row.

One thing I have in my head, is that I do not want to skip any days on this, unless I'm deathly ill. Today was one of those days where I knew if I didn't get my workout out of the way, I would be tempted to not do it at all. Trevor (oldest son) has to be out waiting for his bus, thankfully our driveway is his bus stop, at 7:10 am. Then Warren (middle son) has to be at school between 8-9 and I had to drop off Tessa (youngest princess) at my mom's in time for me to get to my Bible study by 9! The good thing about all this running around was that it's all in our hometown! After Bible study, I needed to get Tessa, then Warren, and then home in time to get Trevor off the bus. I'd have a couple hours in between until my hair client in the late afternoon. I just knew that the workout needed to be done before all of this. So I set my alarm last night and did my workout at 6 am. During the workout, the boys kept joining in and they'd tell me that I was doing a good job! It actually did help. It's weird, but I didn't want them to see me give up!

Towards the end, when I can hardly talk because I'm so beat, I was trying to give out orders to Trevor, "Buddy (pant, pant, pant) get your socks on!". It's a challenge enough for me to get Trevor dressed and ready for school by 7, let alone wake up and do Insanity at 6am! I am NOT a morning person...BUT I think that table has the potential to be turned. I LOVED that I was done for the day after that! And I was so awake after when I got Trevor on the bus, that getting the other kids ready and out the door wasn't as challenging. I might actually do this again tomorrow! If I become a morning person through all of this, I'll be amazed and very pleased! I've always wished that I could have more energy at the start of the day.
That's pretty much it for now. I'm eating really healthy, but at the same time, I do have trouble with when to eat what. Protein, fat, carbs??...so I'm working on that, but I'm slowly learning! Here's to week 2! So far in week 1, I lost 3lbs!!

One More Thing...
Today I joined a women's Bible Study at my church. I'm so excited about it! I lead a Bible Study through my church as well, but this was so great to show up with not having to prepare anything. Also, it was so awesome to be in a room with just women (sorry guys haha) and be able to learn, chat, share and just be real. I'm looking forward to the weeks to come! And thanks to my mom, for taking Tessa!

Finally Made a Decision

So I finally decided on a resolution for the year of 2013. Maybe it's more of a goal than a resolution, but anyway, you get the idea. I decided that I want to be more organized with our money. We tend to be a little careless at times and we're not great at saving. I know we could change this around and I've been feeling the pull to do it, so that's one. The second goal is to become more physically fit. I've got the healthy eating down pretty good (although there's always room for improvement) but I haven't made time for exercise in years. I had 3 children in less than 5 years, so in between I did some, but nothing that ever lasted. My youngest just turned 17 months and now that there's no more kids in the near future (or probably at all), I want to make room for this in my life. 

Two days ago I started the workout DVD program, INSANITY. I've had it sitting here for a while and for some reason, the other day, I just felt really motivated to do it. I'm the type of person that loves looking at other peoples progress and before and after pictures. They really do inspire me! When I see these people who started out so unhealthy and overweight and they turn themselves into these sculpted little power houses, I think, 'well if they can do it, I can do it too!'. There's just a few things that usually get in the way of my inspiration: time, kids, and laziness. The past couple of weeks I've been paying more attention to how much time I spend scrolling through my phone, or watching TV at night and I thought, 'I have no excuse!'. 

I started on Tuesday because Monday was a holiday and we had a big huge delicious roast beef dinner at my parents house. I was in no shape for exercise, but it was an amazing last meal before starting this program :) The first day is a fit test and that alone was a killer. Yesterday was 40 something minutes of crazy, insane cardio! I can hardly move this morning. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it today, but I'm hoping as I move about this morning that my muscles will loosen up a bit. So, I'll be updating on my 60 day journey! I'm hoping by tracking it here, it may be a form of accountability. I do NOT want to give up. So here it goes!

This is me, before and after workout day #2. I was literally stripping down by the end! 

What kept me going was seeing the people on the DVD fall to the ground during our 30 second break. It let me know that this wasn't just hard for ME!  Maybe if I get brave, I will show MY before and after progress pictures. After having 3 kids (2 of which were over 10lbs) my stomach is probably the loosest and weakest part of my body. I'm really insecure about it. In my mind, it's impossible to change. I hope I prove myself wrong!

ONE MORE THING!

It's February vacation for my kindergartner this week and all the bedrooms are a mess and laundry is piling up. I hate falling behind. It feels like I'll never catch up, especially with all the kids home at the same time! Now I've got this soreness from working out and I'm dreading carrying laundry up and down my stairs to the laundry room :/ I kinda just want to close all the doors to the messiness, forget about the laundry and sit here with my heating pad and tea. Okay, now I sound like an 80 year old! Time to get off the couch, happy Thursday!

Morning Moments of Tessa K

I just love when our mornings settle down and I can watch my favorite little girl explore her world :)

Always has been one of my favorite positions for a kid to sit in. They're so bendy!

Checking out her new bath toys...on the bathroom floor instead of the tub!

Found her big brothers cool glasses. Trying so hard to figure it out!

I love this one. She's had her tongue out since day one. Happy, sad, laughing, crying...there it is! 

ONE MORE THING!

About to head to the mall with all three kids and the hubby. Are we just asking for a disaster? Hoping for a pleasant experience! It seems every time we head out to do errands as a family, we look back and say, 'one of us should have stayed home with the kids!' One day, maybe, we won't say that, and maybe today is the day! Hopeful :)

Talk of Resolutions :)

Happy New Year! So many people have been talking about New Year's Resolutions, myself included. 2012 was the biggest success in resolutions, for me, thus far! It was actually the very first time I had ever kept a resolution for longer than a few weeks. I had 3 resolutions and I kept them all...for the ENTIRE year! My number one resolution was to quit Diet Coke. Some of you who know me may have already heard about my Diet Coke story before, but for those of you who haven't, here it is in a nutshell:

For years, my drink of choice was Diet Coke. I absolutely loved everything about it. My favorite kind was from the fountain. There was nothing like ordering a Diet Coke from McDonald's and having it be freezing cold in all that ice. The bubbles were so fresh and I loved drinking it from a straw (I must sound crazy)! What started off, so long ago, being a special treat and having a soda every now and then, soon became an unexpected addiction! It was all I ever wanted. Not only did I want it, but I needed it to keep myself awake and going during the day. I don't drink coffee so this was my energy that I depended on daily. I also convinced myself that it was like medicine. If it didn't feel good, Diet Coke made me better. I found myself drinking it so much that I didn't drink any water at all. Days would go by and I could honestly not recall my last sip of water. It was when I started waking up in the middle of the night and opening my fridge for a nice cold swig of Diet Coke, that I thought, "I don't think this is normal." I justified it to the end. It couldn't be that bad, there's no calories in it! It could be worse. I could be addicted to something much more unhealthy like cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. I had the attitude that I knew I was addicted and I didn't care! I then started to hear things about aspartame, the artificial sweetener that makes Diet Coke sugar free. I'd do research on it and when I read something I didn't like, I'd stop reading it! Over time, I had done some juicing and fasting, in which I did not drink any Diet Coke. I suffered from awful headaches and body aches.I thought, in those times, that I had overcome this weird addiction. So after a few weeks of not having it, I'd allow myself to have a glass every once in a while. That would always turn into, a glass of it everyday and then just back to drinking only Diet Coke. As the end of 2011 approached, it was on my heart to, once again, try and kick this awful habit. There was a difference in the other times before though; this time I truly felt that God was putting it on my heart.  One day I sat in my living room and prayed to Him, asking Him to guide me into a healthier way of life. I felt like I hadn't been treating my body very good. I had just had a baby 3 months prior, and I felt gross! I wanted a new beginning. It was December 21st, I believe, when I felt God saying to me, "give up Diet Coke for ME, and do it now. Do not wait for the new year." Not really what I wanted to hear. I wanted my last couple of weeks to have my favorite thing! I truly enjoyed drinking it so much that I felt I was going to be in mourning over it (I'm a little dramatic)! That day, I stopped. When we pray for something, we don't ask God to answer our prayers in a couple of weeks, or when He feels like it. We are human and we expect immediate response! Why would I ever make God wait for something that He asks from me? I had to obey... which I'm usually not so good at, but this time I really felt in me that I had to. Over a year later and I haven't had a single sip of Diet Coke! I honestly can say that I don't think I will ever drink it again. I definitely miss it. I still want it all the time, but I feel so much better now! I don't have a guilty conscience about what I'm putting into my body. I've resorted to tea and water... mostly soda water. I still will treat myself to a soda every now and then, but it's usually Dr. Pepper or Root Beer. I feel so thankful that I was able to kick it. Also quite grateful that the addiction that I had, was just a glimpse into the reality of this world of much uglier addictions. I can't imagine the bondage that others find themselves in when struggling to give something up like drugs, alcohol, or even food. I learned a lot from this experience and it's brought me closer to God. 

My other resolutions were, to lose all my baby weight and keep it off (success!) and to recycle (success!) since I was super bad at that before. Holy cow, one whole year and I kept THREE resolutions! Now I'm behind. I would like to be posting another success story in a year from now. I have a few in mind, but nothing that I've committed to yet. The next few days I'm hoping to have come up with a solid resolution!

ONE MORE THING!

I really don't want to take down our Christmas Tree yet! How long is too long to keep up Christmas decor? My sister is visiting with her family for a second Christmas in a couple of weeks. Hoping to convince my husband to keep it up till then! We shall see :)

Quiet House Tonight

Not quite sure what to write about tonight, but the house is quiet, everyone is sleeping and I just feel like chatting! My oldest son, Trevor, is 5 1/2 and beginning kindergarten in just a few short weeks. I thought I'd be more emotional about it, and maybe I will be when the day presents itself, but for now I am eager for it to be here! As you can see, he is a total boy with a stick in his hand and scrapes all over his legs, and his very cool pose!


 This summer we decided to save our money and not sign the boys up for many extra activities. They attended Vacation Bible School for a week and that was it. I'm kind of regretting it now because this mommy has had some moments of feeling insane! My kids are great but it's a challenge to get anything done when I'm constantly busy with them. Not only do I just want my house to stay clean for 5 minutes, but I would love to be working on my photography a little bit more. School days, I know, will open doors for those things to start falling into place. Till then...patience! Then when I think like that I start to get a tad little guilty shock running through my bones. I'm never going to have days on end, at home, with no school or places to be, with my son again. This is it. His school career begins now...5 days a week!! Oh the mixed emotions of it all. How does something sound so sad and wonderful all at once?! I'm still going to have my 4 year old and 1 year old at home, so things will still remain crazy (which is my normal) for a little while :)

Another milestone that awaits us is my birthday. I'm turning 30 in a a couple of weeks. I'm so fine with this. Time has gone by so quickly that to me it seems like yesterday I was 25. And if yesterday I was 25, well then today I feel like 25! There are things about me that I can tell are getting older. I care about different things that I was quite ignorant to in the past. Like the foods my family and I eat, and learning to plant and garden (in containers mostly because Lord knows I can't deal with bugs all the time!) I care more about what God wants for me and not so much what I want for me. I care more about the world in general and how it will effect the new generations. These things are all things that make me feel a little more like 30. If caring more is what makes me feel like 30, I'm not sad about turning 30. I mostly feel sorry that when I was younger and heard that another person was 30, I thought they were old. Now I know that's the furthest thing from the truth lol!

ONE MORE THING!
I'm on day 10 of the South Beach Diet. I can't believe how good I've been on phase one. For those who don't know, phase one means no starches, fruit or alcohol AT ALL! So I've completely changed how I eat in the past 10 days, but I don't feel like my weight has changed that much. Of course my husband is dropping pounds like it's his job. I think it's my cue to start moving this 30 year old body just a little bit more! The question is, how long will I keep saying it before I actually do it?

Tips On Making Your Photo's CLEAN!

Ever wonder why your pictures look crooked or something about the image just says "messy"? Here are some ways of making things look straight, and neat!


Take advantage of the grid in your viewfinder or LCD screen, which is provided in most digital camera's. This is great for keeping everything lined up and even. If your picture includes objects in the background with lines, this grid is very helpful for keeping things looking straight and sharp. This image below I took of my son last summer. The line coming from the top of the fence behind him is what is important to keep even. With a lot of great shots come candidness. In this particular moment, I saw my son standing there looking out at the water. Before calling his name, I took a second to quickly"set up". I do a lot of photography down on one knee since I'm photographing little short guys all the time! That way, we're straight on. So I looked in my view finder, put my subject in the center of the screen (with help from my grid) and then I made sure that the top line from the fence was straight with the line in my grid. I then called out, "Hey Warren!" With a quick turn around, I got my little mismatched boy looking right in the camera, and everything STRAIGHT as can be!

Another option is post cropping. Most software that comes with your camera will offer this option. Your computer most likely also has a cropping option in whatever program you use to view your pictures. Look for an 'edit' button if you don't see the word 'crop'. With post cropping, there's always the chance that you may need to sacrifice something in your image to make it look neater. You may find after playing around with the image that you like the original better. That's when the undo button comes in handy :) But sometimes sacrificing part of an image, means gaining a much more attractive and finished look. Below is a before and after of a picture that was taken very quickly! Taking pictures of lots of little kids and trying to get them to all look happy at the same time means something usually isn't going to be perfect! The swing they're sitting on is slightly slanted on the ground, but who needs to know that in a picture?! Cropping screens always have grids 

as well. So use those lines to line up with lines from the scene you're working with. I have an option when cropping to align the image, or tilt it. Very helpful for situations like this. 

When taking a quick (or even not so quick) picture that may need potential cropping, it's always a good rule of thumb to leave yourself some extra room. This also serves as a double purpose for when you print your pictures. Depending on the dimensions of your print choice, you may need to crop a portion of your image to get the desired size. So if you have some extra room, you won't need to crop off feet (a huge pet peeve of mine that I will speak of in the future!) or tops of heads.

Hope this might help with making your pictures look clean!!!

One More Thing.....

My oldest son (the tallest blonde on the swing above) is graduating pre-school on Friday. I can't believe I'm going to be the mother of a kindergartner. I find myself forgetting so many things lately. I blame it on being a mom of 3 kiddos! I go from one room to the next and forget the reason why I'm standing there! As many things seem to escape my memory, one of the moments I will never forget is the one when I met my first baby. How is it that he's gotten 5 years older, but I still feel like a young chick?! (a young chick with a memory of a 90 year old!) I'm looking forward to enjoying this summer with him before he officially starts his full time schooling for the next 13 plus years! Milestones are so bittersweet. 

A Little Introduction

Anyone who knows me would have my back when I tell you that I was born with the God given gift of gab. Of course I am blessed with other gifts too, but if there's one thing I love to do...and I think I do well... I love to chat! My husband and I will have long talks, (which of course he loves) and when we get to the point when I can feel the energy of our conversation coming to a conclusion, I will often say, "oh and one more thing!". He loves it :) To justify my more recent love of chatter, my full time job is being a stay at home mom to 3 children. Their ages are 5, 3, and almost 9 months. It's pretty obvious that there's not much adult conversation going on in my normal day. When I am with other adults during our day, it takes 2 hours to finally finish a conversation that would've taken maybe 5 minutes if there were no such thing as interruption! So there you have it...this girl has a lot to say, and I think I have some great and even beneficial things to share. I'm hoping to reach out to many readers, but we shall see how it goes. I plan on using my hobbies and other gifts, along with my chatty Cathy gift, to get across to people!
I mentioned my full time job is being a stay at home mom. Before that happened, I was working as a full time cosmetologist doing hair, make up, waxing, and nails. After I had 2 children, I went back to work for a couple of years and loved getting out of the house and having some "non-mommy time". When I got pregnant with my 3rd baby last spring, I decided to call it quits in the salon. I still have some clients and my family that I do from home, which keeps me up to par! What's been keeping me even more busy the past couple of years is photography. I've had a love for this hobby since high school. I took a class in college and then more recently took an online class and did a lot of self teaching with books and practicing by taking millions of pictures!  I officially have started my own little photography business and it's been an answer to my prayers. I'm my own boss, I decide when I work, and I can do lots of the work from home. I love it! One more thing that I've been doing for several months now is leading and teaching a small group Bible study. I've learned so much from doing this and although sometimes it feels like I have a lot on my plate, I know that I am doing what it is I am supposed to be doing right now. Last but not least, I have been very interested in a healthier way of living. I haven't made any major changes thus far, but perhaps in the following weeks to come, we may just see some transitions. 
I look forward to sharing stories of motherhood, beauty tips, photography tips and lots of miscellaneous!
I will always make sure to conclude with a random:
One more thing....
So my husband loves, but does not own, motorcycles. A few years ago a good friend of ours let him borrow a Harley for the summer. As much as I hated the idea of it, I decided to brave up and go for a ride. I started out timid but I found myself enjoying it quite a bit! Anyway, so you know how when one biker drives past another biker they sort of put their hand out as if to say,  "Hey there fellow biker, have a good ride."? Well I was clueless to this little secret (or not so secret) biker code. When I saw my husband do this for the first time I said, "hunny do you know that guy?!" He laughed at my lack of slick motorcycle knowledge and filled me in. I then thought he was the biggest dork lol! Now I know that if you're driving a motorcycle and pass a fellow biker and you DON'T do the cool hand motion, it's just plain rude. Today I was driving in my mini van (I'm the coolest mini van driver ever so don't judge!) and there was a motorcycle in front of me and I witnessed this hand / wave...whatever you want to call it...thing happen. I thought, well why do just these bikers do this? Why don't us fellow mini-vanners do this too?! I mean, a friendly gesture to say, 'have a great day carting your van full of stinky kids around! I support you!' would put a smile on my face for sure. So if you see a crazy, but very cool, girl (yes I still call myself girl because it sometimes sounds weird to me to call myself 'lady') waving with style to my fellow mini van drivers, it's me! I hope you join in doing this, maybe we can start a new trend together :)