Now I Know

As Christian's, we are taught, right from Biblical scripture, to put God first. Always. He comes before any other human in our lives..so we say. I believe with all my heart that we should live our lives this way, but it's pretty hard, isn't it?! I have always said that I love God more than anyone...but I've never been quite sure how I knew this statement was true for myself. They are easy words to say, and I do love God so much, but for some time, there has been nothing really tangible to prove I could love God more than another person. I love my family so much, could I possible love God more than them?

About 3 years ago, the person in this world that has been closest to me ,since day one of my existence, moved hundreds of miles away from me. My identical twin sister went from living a mile down the road to many miles down the road! The easy explanation for this would be that a new job for my brother in law was what led them there. The real explanation was that God led them there. They both prayed and felt very strongly that God provided this job for them only because there was a divine reason for them to get up and move away. Never in a million years did my sister and I ever think that this day would come; that we would be apart for longer than a lengthy honey moon with our husbands. During the decision making time of this trip, I wanted nothing more than for the whole plan to fall apart and for them to stay. But through lots of praying, I had a gut wrenching certainty that they were right; God wanted them to go and He wanted me to support them in it. Lots of people, even family, were not at all convinced of this decision. Of all these people, I know for a fact that, I wanted them to go least of all; but I knew they had to. I've never missed people so much in my whole life. For the first year, I spent so much time crying that my kids would see me sad and their common reaction was, "mommy misses auntie again!". Now, I'm probably creating this picture, that I never see my sister. We've made quite a successful effort of seeing each other. Aside from a few times, we've found a way to see each other every few months. Nothing compares to every day, but it could have been worse! Every time I've gone to visit them, I get this overwhelming feeling that it would be great to live there. My husband had been told about job opportunities during visits and the houses were homes we could never dream of having in our current location. Plus, we'd be reunited with our (growing) families! It seemed perfect, at times. Of course, we'd be leaving other family and friends behind, and that never felt happy either. But my heartache to be back together with my twin and the desire for our children to grow up together, sometimes, took over that. My husband and I would go back and forth on this every time we'd visit.

In the meantime, at home, my relationship with God had sort of been at a standstill. I was thirsty for a church family and to really belong and have God be more present in my family's lives. I prayed it about for a while, and looking back, God was answering that prayer a long time ago. When my sister left, she also left a group Bible study that we had been part of for several years. Her and I would help to lead the study and when she left, another woman began coming and she took over. After about a year, this woman felt that God wanted me to lead the group. So for a year, I did. I wasn't really sure what God was doing to me in this time, but I could feel that it was something. Later I was asked to be a part of our church's women's ministry planning team. I had an opportunity to give a presentation on beauty (my passion) in front of a large group of women and at the same time, incorporate scripture. (I know it's hard to think you can incorporate the beauty industry with the Bible, but ya had to be there!). I had always been searching for an answer to, "Why, God, did you make me a hairdresser and love making people feel good on the outside?!" Sometimes I felt guilty about that but I began to get those answers. I began getting to know other women, other moms, families, young people, old people.....a family of people! I also began getting so much closer to the Lord. God was opening doors and giving me exactly what I had prayed for. I wasn't standing still anymore.

This summer, on my birthday, (our should I say, our birthday since I've always shared my birthday!) I was having a tough moment, wishing that, on just this one day, us twinsies could be together to celebrate. It was during the month of August that the talk of moving to where my sister lives came up between my husband and I and I was feeling so vulnerable. It was also to the point of which, I had a good feeling, that if I really wanted this, I could totally convince the hubby we needed to do it! Weirdly enough, every time the topic came up, my church's name, Grace Chapel, came to the front of my brain. It was strange because I wasn't feeling attached to our church, nothing like my attachment for my twin, that's for sure! I knew it was a God moment, and for the first time, my desire to move away and be near my other half, was dwindling. I didn't think that was possible!

About a week later, I was asked by our church to be the coordinator for the women's ministry at our church campus. I had never felt so sure about a decision to say "yes" in my life. It wasn't until a few days later that I realized I did something for the very first time. I chose God over a person. Not just any person, but MY person! I stopped considering up-routing our life to be near loved ones and I listened to Him, trusted Him, and loved Him and it felt GOOD! So wait, did God prove something to me, or did I prove something to Him?! It doesn't matter, does it?  I don't know what God has planned for me here or at our church, but I know He wants me here.  He doesn't want me many miles away. Maybe He took my sister and her family half way across the country for me to realize this, but now at least I know the truth; I really do love God and want to put Him first, and those aren't just words that I question their truth about anymore. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for the future of my family and me. Of course I still miss my sister and her family more than anything, but now I'm working on trusting in God that He will take care of that.

ONE MORE THING!!!
This verse is one I need to refer to often! I hope you will too :)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6

37 Days

Today is my 37th day of Insanity. More than half way done! I can honestly say that my life has changed in these 37 days. It may sound crazy, but it's totally nothing but the truth! I never understood the testimonies and stories told by people when it came to fitness or health changes. I believe this journey for me started before these past 37 days. I honestly think my life changed when I gave up my very lame addiction of Diet Coke. You can read about that in my blog, Talk of Resolutions. Anyway, it's amazing how giving up one thing can make you think about so many other things. This made me think about eating healthier and what all the hype was about eating clean and organic. While I'm not a crazy nut about either of those things, it's certainly sparked my interest as well as concern. Especially when I'm responsible for what goes into the mouths of the three little loves of my life and making sure they're healthy. In all my research about being healthy, there was never anyone who claimed that exercise and regular physical activity didn't play a role in being healthy and living longer.

It was a couple of months ago that I was asking God for some energy. I had this laziness that came over me and I felt so sluggish. I didn't want to clean my house, or get off of my couch to do anything! I hated waking up in the morning so early, I just wanted to sleep longer. I wasn't sad or depressed, just exhausted. But why? Could my excuse be that I'm a mom of 3 and I'm super busy? Well, I'm not alone! I thought if I prayed about this, God would hand me over some extra energy...just in some miraculous form where I'd not have to do anything to get it! I should have known then that God doesn't work like that!

A family member had put Insanity into our hands months ago. Sure, it crossed my mind, but not enough to "push play." Finally, a week or so after that prayer, something inside of me was begging for more than just eating healthier. Even though I wasn't fat, I wasn't at all content with my body. I was craving a transformation and heard that Insanity was just the type of program for that...and I had it! So why not? A couple of weeks into it I had realized that this was just the beginning of God answering my prayer that I had requested to Him. I was waking up early to work out, I was being energized, I was becoming the opposite of lazy! I still didn't really WANT to clean my house...but maybe that will come in time hahaha!

I decided right from the beginning to put myself out there to have the feeling of being held accountable. The more people I told, the more people would see me as a quitter if I didn't finish. I told family, friends and even strangers. I got on all my social media networks and went nuts haha! It was through Instagram that I met a Beachbody Coach and became a part of his and his wife's "team". I believe it was no accident, that I came across these guys who have been nothing but supportive and uplifting to me. On top of that, they too are Christian's. It's important to me to have my main supporters understand how much this change in me is very much tied in with my faith. So after joining their Shaun T (creator of Insanity) group on Facebook, I learned so much and became a part of an awesome community. I started drinking Shakeology, which I LOVE, and I just this week officially became a Beachbody Coach. I'll talk more about what that is soon, but basically it's a door that has been opened for tons of opportunity for my family and me. Being a Coach isn't being a personal trainer, but it's being a supporter and way for others to find more out about becoming apart of Team Beachbody. I can offer products, like Shakeology and programs, like Insanity and I can stand behind them because I KNOW how awesome they are!

My journey is just beginning, I'm so excited and I honestly can say, I don't plan on looking back :) I posted some pics of my progress so far. Due to my insecurities, I never thought I'd post some of these, they were just for myself. SO pardon the hair and the serious faces lol. I know that pictures can be inspirational to people, as they have been for me. So as hard as it is for me to post these, I'm doing it anyway :)

ONE MORE THING! 

After starting Insanity, my twins sister started a week later, my husband started a week after that and my brother in law started another week after him! They're loving it! Please don't hesitate to ask any questions at all if you have the desire to start something like this! I'd love to help :)

People have been asking about Shakeology...find more info here!

 www.beachbodycoach.com/chachakp

Insanity Day 9

Today I completed day 9 of INSANITY! It's really so strange to me that I'm actually waking up in the morning and looking forward to my work out! The reason it's so strange is because I literally feel like I'm going die each and every time I do the video! At first I was pretty sore, but now, I'm just feeling a slight soreness, mostly when I walk up and down my stairs. The first few days, I swear I looked like I should've been in a wheelchair! So far, the hardest things for me are the push-ups and the high-knees (high knees are kind of like running in place but every time you lift each leg, your knee should be coming up to your waist.). I HATE high knees! I like push ups, but I'm still pretty weak in that area. Instead of stopping, I usually do as many as I can and then  join in with girl push ups. Which, they really shouldn't be called girl push ups, I hate that! They should be called "half way push ups"! I'm excited for the day when I can do more in a row.

One thing I have in my head, is that I do not want to skip any days on this, unless I'm deathly ill. Today was one of those days where I knew if I didn't get my workout out of the way, I would be tempted to not do it at all. Trevor (oldest son) has to be out waiting for his bus, thankfully our driveway is his bus stop, at 7:10 am. Then Warren (middle son) has to be at school between 8-9 and I had to drop off Tessa (youngest princess) at my mom's in time for me to get to my Bible study by 9! The good thing about all this running around was that it's all in our hometown! After Bible study, I needed to get Tessa, then Warren, and then home in time to get Trevor off the bus. I'd have a couple hours in between until my hair client in the late afternoon. I just knew that the workout needed to be done before all of this. So I set my alarm last night and did my workout at 6 am. During the workout, the boys kept joining in and they'd tell me that I was doing a good job! It actually did help. It's weird, but I didn't want them to see me give up!

Towards the end, when I can hardly talk because I'm so beat, I was trying to give out orders to Trevor, "Buddy (pant, pant, pant) get your socks on!". It's a challenge enough for me to get Trevor dressed and ready for school by 7, let alone wake up and do Insanity at 6am! I am NOT a morning person...BUT I think that table has the potential to be turned. I LOVED that I was done for the day after that! And I was so awake after when I got Trevor on the bus, that getting the other kids ready and out the door wasn't as challenging. I might actually do this again tomorrow! If I become a morning person through all of this, I'll be amazed and very pleased! I've always wished that I could have more energy at the start of the day.
That's pretty much it for now. I'm eating really healthy, but at the same time, I do have trouble with when to eat what. Protein, fat, carbs??...so I'm working on that, but I'm slowly learning! Here's to week 2! So far in week 1, I lost 3lbs!!

One More Thing...
Today I joined a women's Bible Study at my church. I'm so excited about it! I lead a Bible Study through my church as well, but this was so great to show up with not having to prepare anything. Also, it was so awesome to be in a room with just women (sorry guys haha) and be able to learn, chat, share and just be real. I'm looking forward to the weeks to come! And thanks to my mom, for taking Tessa!

Finally Made a Decision

So I finally decided on a resolution for the year of 2013. Maybe it's more of a goal than a resolution, but anyway, you get the idea. I decided that I want to be more organized with our money. We tend to be a little careless at times and we're not great at saving. I know we could change this around and I've been feeling the pull to do it, so that's one. The second goal is to become more physically fit. I've got the healthy eating down pretty good (although there's always room for improvement) but I haven't made time for exercise in years. I had 3 children in less than 5 years, so in between I did some, but nothing that ever lasted. My youngest just turned 17 months and now that there's no more kids in the near future (or probably at all), I want to make room for this in my life. 

Two days ago I started the workout DVD program, INSANITY. I've had it sitting here for a while and for some reason, the other day, I just felt really motivated to do it. I'm the type of person that loves looking at other peoples progress and before and after pictures. They really do inspire me! When I see these people who started out so unhealthy and overweight and they turn themselves into these sculpted little power houses, I think, 'well if they can do it, I can do it too!'. There's just a few things that usually get in the way of my inspiration: time, kids, and laziness. The past couple of weeks I've been paying more attention to how much time I spend scrolling through my phone, or watching TV at night and I thought, 'I have no excuse!'. 

I started on Tuesday because Monday was a holiday and we had a big huge delicious roast beef dinner at my parents house. I was in no shape for exercise, but it was an amazing last meal before starting this program :) The first day is a fit test and that alone was a killer. Yesterday was 40 something minutes of crazy, insane cardio! I can hardly move this morning. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it today, but I'm hoping as I move about this morning that my muscles will loosen up a bit. So, I'll be updating on my 60 day journey! I'm hoping by tracking it here, it may be a form of accountability. I do NOT want to give up. So here it goes!

This is me, before and after workout day #2. I was literally stripping down by the end! 

What kept me going was seeing the people on the DVD fall to the ground during our 30 second break. It let me know that this wasn't just hard for ME!  Maybe if I get brave, I will show MY before and after progress pictures. After having 3 kids (2 of which were over 10lbs) my stomach is probably the loosest and weakest part of my body. I'm really insecure about it. In my mind, it's impossible to change. I hope I prove myself wrong!

ONE MORE THING!

It's February vacation for my kindergartner this week and all the bedrooms are a mess and laundry is piling up. I hate falling behind. It feels like I'll never catch up, especially with all the kids home at the same time! Now I've got this soreness from working out and I'm dreading carrying laundry up and down my stairs to the laundry room :/ I kinda just want to close all the doors to the messiness, forget about the laundry and sit here with my heating pad and tea. Okay, now I sound like an 80 year old! Time to get off the couch, happy Thursday!

Morning Moments of Tessa K

I just love when our mornings settle down and I can watch my favorite little girl explore her world :)

Always has been one of my favorite positions for a kid to sit in. They're so bendy!

Checking out her new bath toys...on the bathroom floor instead of the tub!

Found her big brothers cool glasses. Trying so hard to figure it out!

I love this one. She's had her tongue out since day one. Happy, sad, laughing, crying...there it is! 

ONE MORE THING!

About to head to the mall with all three kids and the hubby. Are we just asking for a disaster? Hoping for a pleasant experience! It seems every time we head out to do errands as a family, we look back and say, 'one of us should have stayed home with the kids!' One day, maybe, we won't say that, and maybe today is the day! Hopeful :)

Talk of Resolutions :)

Happy New Year! So many people have been talking about New Year's Resolutions, myself included. 2012 was the biggest success in resolutions, for me, thus far! It was actually the very first time I had ever kept a resolution for longer than a few weeks. I had 3 resolutions and I kept them all...for the ENTIRE year! My number one resolution was to quit Diet Coke. Some of you who know me may have already heard about my Diet Coke story before, but for those of you who haven't, here it is in a nutshell:

For years, my drink of choice was Diet Coke. I absolutely loved everything about it. My favorite kind was from the fountain. There was nothing like ordering a Diet Coke from McDonald's and having it be freezing cold in all that ice. The bubbles were so fresh and I loved drinking it from a straw (I must sound crazy)! What started off, so long ago, being a special treat and having a soda every now and then, soon became an unexpected addiction! It was all I ever wanted. Not only did I want it, but I needed it to keep myself awake and going during the day. I don't drink coffee so this was my energy that I depended on daily. I also convinced myself that it was like medicine. If it didn't feel good, Diet Coke made me better. I found myself drinking it so much that I didn't drink any water at all. Days would go by and I could honestly not recall my last sip of water. It was when I started waking up in the middle of the night and opening my fridge for a nice cold swig of Diet Coke, that I thought, "I don't think this is normal." I justified it to the end. It couldn't be that bad, there's no calories in it! It could be worse. I could be addicted to something much more unhealthy like cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. I had the attitude that I knew I was addicted and I didn't care! I then started to hear things about aspartame, the artificial sweetener that makes Diet Coke sugar free. I'd do research on it and when I read something I didn't like, I'd stop reading it! Over time, I had done some juicing and fasting, in which I did not drink any Diet Coke. I suffered from awful headaches and body aches.I thought, in those times, that I had overcome this weird addiction. So after a few weeks of not having it, I'd allow myself to have a glass every once in a while. That would always turn into, a glass of it everyday and then just back to drinking only Diet Coke. As the end of 2011 approached, it was on my heart to, once again, try and kick this awful habit. There was a difference in the other times before though; this time I truly felt that God was putting it on my heart.  One day I sat in my living room and prayed to Him, asking Him to guide me into a healthier way of life. I felt like I hadn't been treating my body very good. I had just had a baby 3 months prior, and I felt gross! I wanted a new beginning. It was December 21st, I believe, when I felt God saying to me, "give up Diet Coke for ME, and do it now. Do not wait for the new year." Not really what I wanted to hear. I wanted my last couple of weeks to have my favorite thing! I truly enjoyed drinking it so much that I felt I was going to be in mourning over it (I'm a little dramatic)! That day, I stopped. When we pray for something, we don't ask God to answer our prayers in a couple of weeks, or when He feels like it. We are human and we expect immediate response! Why would I ever make God wait for something that He asks from me? I had to obey... which I'm usually not so good at, but this time I really felt in me that I had to. Over a year later and I haven't had a single sip of Diet Coke! I honestly can say that I don't think I will ever drink it again. I definitely miss it. I still want it all the time, but I feel so much better now! I don't have a guilty conscience about what I'm putting into my body. I've resorted to tea and water... mostly soda water. I still will treat myself to a soda every now and then, but it's usually Dr. Pepper or Root Beer. I feel so thankful that I was able to kick it. Also quite grateful that the addiction that I had, was just a glimpse into the reality of this world of much uglier addictions. I can't imagine the bondage that others find themselves in when struggling to give something up like drugs, alcohol, or even food. I learned a lot from this experience and it's brought me closer to God. 

My other resolutions were, to lose all my baby weight and keep it off (success!) and to recycle (success!) since I was super bad at that before. Holy cow, one whole year and I kept THREE resolutions! Now I'm behind. I would like to be posting another success story in a year from now. I have a few in mind, but nothing that I've committed to yet. The next few days I'm hoping to have come up with a solid resolution!

ONE MORE THING!

I really don't want to take down our Christmas Tree yet! How long is too long to keep up Christmas decor? My sister is visiting with her family for a second Christmas in a couple of weeks. Hoping to convince my husband to keep it up till then! We shall see :)